As a child, I distinctly remember desperately wanting to be seen by those closest to me. To be proud of me, to nurture me, and most importantly to show me love. It didn't seem to matter what I did, I could never shake this feeling, this longing to feel accepted. As I grew older I continuously broke myself in an attempt to fit in and be heard. As a teenager I was dramatic and stifled my emotions. I was repeatedly told I spoke too much. I told audacious stories to friends at school to garner their attention or gain their sympathy hoping they would include me in their clique. As an adult, I would lose myself entirely in relationships because I thought if I could be the perfect partner, exactly who they wanted me to be, I would be safe and they wouldn't leave. I struggled with deeply-rooted abandonment issues, addiction, eating disorders, and codependency. It wasn't until the loss of my best friend that I realized my life was off the rails. When I finally understood that my past did not dictate my present or my future, it was as if a weight had been lifted off my chest. My life's journey was mine and mine alone. I had purpose and my eyes were open wide. That realization, that moment, was the most empowered I had felt as a grown woman. 

 

There is a calling deep in all of us. An inner voice shouting to be heard. “I am here, I matter.” 

A voice asking hard questions and demanding answers. “Who are you, what do you really want, is this all you have” I often ask myself  “Who would you be without all the chaos of your thoughts?”

 

This voice turns us inward, forces us to take note of who we are and who we want to be. At times, we want to silence the voice and at others we want to amplify it. How can we sit with our own imperfections and simply be ok in that moment? How can we find a path forward, our path forward, that is truly unique to our journey? How do we mute the internal nagging criticism and amplify the positive self-encouragement? When do we realize these voices are not so much our own but those society has inflicted upon us? How do we find our own voice, take control of our destiny, sit squarely in the driver's seat, and keep the pressure on the pedal?

 

I am a proud mother, athlete, dancer, and entrepreneur but none of those titles alone define me. They are all simply pieces of me. Motherhood has taught me to embrace love and empathy. I understand grit and will power from being an athlete. I practice patience and stamina from being a dancer. I gained tenacity and bravery from being a businesswoman. Through these realizations, I was able to transform my life and listen to MY VOICE. I have grieved through the loss of loved ones, battled addiction, overcome unhealthy eating habits, survived divorce, transformed my body to a reflection I am proud of, and have nimbly navigated my way as a single woman with a desire to find a stronger purpose. 

 

You can too. I can help.